================================================================ LAVENDER MARRIAGE — EXIT STRATEGY PLANNING TEMPLATE ================================================================ 2lavenders.com | For personal use only This template is not legal advice. Consult a solicitor/attorney for divorce proceedings and related legal matters. ================================================================ An exit strategy is not pessimistic — it's responsible planning. Knowing how you would separate allows both partners to enter the arrangement with security and clarity. Work through this template together and keep a copy each. ---------------------------------------------------------------- SECTION 1 — WHEN AN EXIT MIGHT HAPPEN ---------------------------------------------------------------- List the conditions under which either partner could initiate an exit. Being explicit prevents future disputes. 1.1 Life circumstance triggers: □ Either partner finds a romantic partner they wish to marry or live with □ Either partner's circumstances change significantly (relocation, career, health) □ Either partner chooses to come out publicly in a way that makes the arrangement unnecessary or unsafe □ Family situation changes (inheritance, estrangement, elder care obligations) Other: ____________________________________________ 1.2 Arrangement-specific triggers: □ A fundamental agreement is repeatedly broken □ Financial arrangements become unmanageable □ Irreconcilable communication breakdown □ One partner's safety is at risk due to the arrangement □ One partner requests exit for any reason (no-fault) Other: ____________________________________________ 1.3 Time-limited arrangement: If the arrangement was designed with a fixed term: Original agreed term: ______________________________ Review date: ______________________________________ Notes: ___________________________________________________ ---------------------------------------------------------------- SECTION 2 — NOTICE & PROCESS ---------------------------------------------------------------- 2.1 Minimum notice before initiating formal exit: □ 30 days □ 60 days □ 90 days □ 6 months □ As mutually agreed at the time Other: ____________________________________________ 2.2 How will the exit be initiated? □ Written message (email / letter) □ In-person conversation □ Either, depending on circumstances □ Via agreed mediator if communication has broken down 2.3 Informal separation period before legal proceedings: Will you maintain the legal arrangement during a transition period? □ Yes — duration: ____________ □ No — proceed immediately with legal separation □ Situational — decide at the time 2.4 Who will initiate the legal divorce process? □ The partner who first requested exit □ Mutually agreed at the time □ One designated partner regardless of who requests exit: ________________________________________________ Notes: ___________________________________________________ ---------------------------------------------------------------- SECTION 3 — LEGAL PROCESS ---------------------------------------------------------------- 3.1 Jurisdiction for divorce proceedings: Country/State: _____________________________________ 3.2 Grounds for divorce in your jurisdiction: (e.g. no-fault, separation period required, mutual consent) ____________________________________________________ 3.3 Minimum separation period required before divorce: ____________________________________________________ 3.4 Will you use the same solicitor/attorney or separate? □ Same (neutral / uncontested divorce) □ Separate legal representation for each partner □ Depends on whether the exit is contested 3.5 Do you have a prenuptial or cohabitation agreement? □ Yes — location of document: ____________________ □ No 3.6 Are there any immigration implications (e.g. spousal visa, residency based on marriage)? □ Yes — details: __________________________________ □ No □ Uncertain — consult immigration adviser 3.7 Are there any children whose legal status would be affected by separation? □ Yes — custody and support to be agreed: ________________________________________________ □ No Notes: ___________________________________________________ ---------------------------------------------------------------- SECTION 4 — FINANCIAL SEPARATION ---------------------------------------------------------------- (Reference your Financial Planning Worksheet for detailed pre-agreed terms. Summarise key points here.) 4.1 Shared bank accounts — how and when closed/divided: ____________________________________________________ 4.2 Shared property — agreed disposition: □ Sell and split proceeds: ___% / ___% □ Partner A buys out Partner B at market value □ Partner B buys out Partner A at market value □ Transfer to: ____________ Compensation: ____________ Timeline for completion: ___________________________ 4.3 Shared debts — how divided: ____________________________________________________ 4.4 Ongoing financial obligations: □ None — clean break □ Partner A pays Partner B: _______ for _______ months □ Partner B pays Partner A: _______ for _______ months □ Other: ____________________________________________ 4.5 Target date for full financial separation: ____________________________________________________ Notes: ___________________________________________________ ---------------------------------------------------------------- SECTION 5 — LIVING ARRANGEMENTS ---------------------------------------------------------------- 5.1 If living together, who will leave the shared home? □ The partner who initiated the exit □ Whoever can practically leave more easily □ Decided by mutual agreement at the time □ Neither — agreed transition period of: ____________ 5.2 Transition period in shared home (if any): Maximum duration: __________________________________ Ground rules during transition: ____________________ 5.3 Who keeps shared household items? □ Split by mutual agreement at the time □ Each partner keeps items they brought in □ Pre-agreed list: _________________________________ Notes: ___________________________________________________ ---------------------------------------------------------------- SECTION 6 — SOCIAL COMMUNICATION PLAN ---------------------------------------------------------------- 6.1 Agreed public explanation for the separation: (e.g. "we grew apart", "we remain close friends", "it was a mutual decision") ____________________________________________________ 6.2 Who will be told first, and by whom? (family, close friends, employers if relevant) ____________________________________________________ 6.3 Will you remain in contact as friends after separation? □ Yes, we intend to remain friends □ No contact for an agreed period: ____________ □ Mutual decision at the time 6.4 Mutual connections: how will you handle shared friendships and social circles? ____________________________________________________ 6.5 Social media: when and how will you update relationship status, remove shared posts, etc.? □ Immediately on separation □ After legal proceedings conclude □ Timing agreed mutually at the time Notes: ___________________________________________________ ---------------------------------------------------------------- SECTION 7 — WELLBEING DURING EXIT ---------------------------------------------------------------- 7.1 Trusted support person each partner will lean on: Partner A: ________________________________________ Partner B: ________________________________________ 7.2 Professional support planned: □ Therapy / counselling □ Legal adviser □ Financial adviser □ LGBTQ+ community support group 7.3 Safety check: is there any risk of either partner being unsafe during or after exit? If yes, what is the safety plan? ____________________________________________________ Notes: ___________________________________________________ ---------------------------------------------------------------- SECTION 8 — POST-SEPARATION REVIEW ---------------------------------------------------------------- Suggested 6-month check-in after separation to confirm: □ Legal proceedings are complete or on track □ Financial separation is complete or on track □ Both partners are stable and safe □ Any remaining shared obligations are resolved ---------------------------------------------------------------- DOCUMENT VERSION HISTORY ---------------------------------------------------------------- Version 1 — Date agreed: ____________ Partner A signature/initials: ____________ Partner B signature/initials: ____________ Amended on: ____________ Change: ________________________ Amended on: ____________ Change: ________________________ ================================================================ 2lavenders.com — Not legal advice. For personal use only. ================================================================